Furniture jokes
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.