Furniture jokes

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

I shit on your furniture.

What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!

What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

The second nightstand.

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.