Furniture jokes
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
I shit on your furniture.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.