Funny jokes

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?

JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pizza.

Pizza who?

Never mind, it was so cheesy.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?

A: He broke his funny bone!

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

Why do orphans go to church?

Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."

A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you going to the movies tonight?

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

What's a priest's favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe.