Funny jokes
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.