What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean Beef.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Q:why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke? A: he broke his funny bone!
Why do orphans go to church?
Cause its the only place were they get to call him father
Guys these jokes are not funny my dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever
Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
