I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
why are orphans good at being a criminal because their not wanted
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair
i don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me
- I think you ́re EGGcellent. + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you`re a EGGxtraordinary comedian. - Really? Are you done yet?. + Are you kidding? a have a DOZEN of them.
Why does Sans like puns so much, probably because he finds them humourus
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
whats the difference between a girl and a toy? there is no difference because you play with both anyway
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
When does a skeleton laugh? When someone tickles his funny bone!
What was the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
My boss said she would’ve loved to meet bill Cosby as a child. I don’t get why im getting arrested, I was just making sure he dream came true
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! 🤬🤬
what does an orphan and a bananna have in common? They both get split up.
What time is it when you get home can you walk walk home and walk
What's the worse thing about having a congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache
Quote for the day
I looked this quot up but It really is a good thing just for starters.
“Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY”
Also loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen
:)
