Funny jokes
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Rock, paper, lesbians.