Funny Jokes

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

why th

A picture shows a man looking confused. The text says "You go to school, nothing happens. You miss one day. 6 fights, Tupac comes back, school had a black out & Beyonce performed in the cafeteria."

Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.

This shit is disgusting but funny.

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

It was on a roll.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Co- MOO!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotofpuss.

Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.

Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!

Comments:

Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!

Shut up: Shut up!

Liv: Gwen stop!!

Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!

My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I said, "No, it doesn't!"

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.