Funny jokes
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.