You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
What's black and white and red all over? A massacre at a funeral.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
ur mom gae
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
