"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
They say masterbation is better with a dead arm
Apparently I ruined that funeral
My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
