Fucking

Fucking jokes

Dora

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Eskimo

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

Owl

A funny joke:

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

Man

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Memes

Date

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

Necrophilia

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

Depression

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

Penguin

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

Grenade

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

Incest

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

Mom

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

Crush

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

Mother

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

Girl

I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!

Rape

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

Mother

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.