Fucking jokes

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they're fucking assholes.

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

A funny joke:

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!