I was going to share my joke about anal, butt fuck it was inappropriate..
When you’re fucking your boss and realise it’s a family business
Jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, jack got high grabbed her thigh, and said "you know you wanna" jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jill forgot her pill and now they have a daughter
haha i fucked you over
All these suicide jokes are fucking killing me
Official Dj Penaldo playlist. 1. I'm a fraud 2. I need you (ft. Tap-ins) 3. I Want to Leave Mid United 4. Back where I belong (ft. Europa league) 5. TY Eder 6. Nobody wants me ( Rejectnaldo Remix) 7. Fuck that kid ( ft. Lil Broke phone) 8. Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)
Do yall know the saying "Hang in there"? Well FUCK that because i might as well be hanging myself
What's the difference between depression and your ex? Depression fucks you harder
Q. why did the orphan rob a bank
A. to feel wanted for the first fucking time
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about making a horrible sound. The bartender says "Hey, looks like he can't play that!", and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
Fella walks past a mental hospital, there all out in the garden behind this big fence . All SHOUTING 13 13 13 13. Ect Over and over again ..
This fella is intrigued sees a little hole in the fence Looks through it .. GETS FUCKING POKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYE ..
Then they all start singing
14 14 14 14 14 14 ;)
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Sunday Monday Tuesday What The Fuck Saturday
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says "why is a young man like you smoking?". The man turns around and says "why the fuck are you wearing trainers...."
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
When you’re walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming “They’re in the fucking trees!”
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?!
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza
Manager: THATS IT! IM KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE
Me: You can't kick me out
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
'...This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window.
"What's been going on John?"' I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!'
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the fuck was that noise?’
