Fucking jokes
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
Comments of Gwen in her bra!
Jordan Jadoke: Wow such a good looking kid!
Heo: Dude stop! Who the hell got this!
prince/mr tallie: Hey stop!
YOU: Sexy sexy sexxy! How much does she cost!
Kenya Bailey: NOTHING SHE IS NOT A SEX SLAVE SHE IS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck u Kenya: SHUT UP!
Big Ideas: Do u think I hav a chance with her? Cause if then SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kariah: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mariah: U GUYS EXPECT PRINCE, HEO, AND KENYA ARE GOOD PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT CHILD MOLESTERS!!!!!!!!!!
Hot: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fring: I want to take u home all to my self!
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Fuck jk.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."