Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
"The f*** am I even doing here?"
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
I fucked my mom.
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
