Fucking

Fucking jokes

Song

  • This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left.

    - Do Re Mi- By- blackbear

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would just stay in bed

    You run your mouth all over town

    And this one goes out to the sound

    Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover

    Pay me back, or bitch it's over

    All the presents I would send

    Fuck my friends behind my shoulder

    Next time, I'ma stay asleep

    I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    If I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would've stayed in bed

    You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent

    Designer shoes and Xanax tabs

    Compliments your make-up bag

    You never had to buy yourself a drink

    'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    I wrote a little song for you, it go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    Drama

  • Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

  • 7
  • Threesome

  • Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

    And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

    Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

    The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

    Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

    Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

    Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

    THE END

  • 0
  • Depression

  • If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

  • 1
  • Chat

  • Naughty little Ariana Grande needs to be fucked like the whore that she is. Join this chat to see if you agree.

    This is for the people who love her body and want to fuck her.

    Read the directions.

    1. Type how she makes you feel.

    2. Type how you would fuck her.

    3. Any type of sex is aloud.

    4. Remember to send pics as well.

    5. Enjoy.

    Joke page for people of all ages. If you want. Please make jokes about her. Enjoy.

    Sex

  • Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.

  • 4
  • Robber

  • Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

    To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

    Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

    The police said "How old are you?"

    Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

  • 1
  • Rape

  • What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

  • 5
  • Time

  • One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

  • 3
  • Virgin

  • Why do Vampires like virgins?

    Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.

  • 0
  • Miracle

  • Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

    She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

    "Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

    Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

  • 0
  • Mum

  • What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

  • 2
  • Incest

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.

  • 5
  • Woman

  • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

  • 1