Fruit jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
I hate orange, but that always juice back.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Pineapple turnover.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Memes
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.