Fruit jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I hate orange, but that always juice back.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
I like mangoes.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Pineapple turnover.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."