What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
How do you open a banana :answer with a mon-key
What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What do tomatoes π do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
what's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your way into someone's pants
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
