Fruit jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
I like mangoes.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Pineapple turnover.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.