Fruit jokes
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Pineapple turnover.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!