Fruit jokes
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
I hate orange, but that always juice back.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Am I a guard or a guava?
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.