Fruit jokes
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?
The apples got picked!
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.