Fruit jokes
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!