Fruit jokes

If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?

What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?

One gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling good.

What do oranges 🍊 sweat?

Juice!

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.

Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A: One of them gets picked.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"

Get it?

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!