Friendship jokes
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.