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A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."