New Friend Jokes - Page 17 - Worst Jokes Ever

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

Are you for head and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."