Found Jokes

Did you know princess Dianna had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders “ on the backseat of her car

Yo mama so fat! when she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!!!!!

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided try to find the treasure. After several hours they found the treasure, it was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friend wear the suit and hugs the other friend. They were both red.

Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?

TV:Water found on Mars..... Mars:1 Africa:0

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white? Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.