Found jokes

What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.

"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."

I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Water was found on Mars.

Mars: 1 Africa: 0

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Why did the bee get married?

Because she found her honey.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"