Football jokes
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
LewenGOALski
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Only in Ohio.
Messi chiquito...
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!