New Football Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵 C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on It's Penalty time and it won't be long Gotta dive and cry some more It's Penalty time and it won't be long ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot Cry some more and dive alot. that all i need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest. He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

whats the difference between soccer and a dead baby? . . . i dont wear steal cap boots when i play soccer

I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium

Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?

A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.

so nfl teams were playing football on me and then justin jefferson hit some thing called the gritty on me

Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world “The guy who tackles the make a wish kid”

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me

12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league

As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?

New York Jets.

My Friend said having sex is alot like your first football game

Your bloody and bruised but at least your dad was there

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.