How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
When men watch football but not the women's version maybe there.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger...then it hit me
why cant a orphan play football cause they cant find home or return.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Emo kids are so good at kicking football I hear they have good hang time
why cant an orphan play football because they don't have an dad or mom
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.
Who's supposed to be the goat?
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
