Food jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
What did an orange say the day before going to work?
"Back to the rind!"
my favorite food
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.