Food jokes

What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?

Cinco De Mayo.

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

Why can't Asians play Baseball?

Because they ate the bat.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

Pizza Hut.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?

Domi-nose.

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”

what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!