Food jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
A burrito walked off a building.
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
I'm hungry.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."