Food jokes
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.