Food jokes

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.

What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?

Scream cheese.

Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.

I found Nemo.

He was tasty.

What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.

Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.

What did the salad say to pineapple?

"Lettuce be friends."

What's the difference between cake and pie?

πr2, cakes are round.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?

Everyone's eaten.

Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?

They were all family sized.

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.