Food jokes
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
When your mom pulls the "I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, I put a roof over your head" card.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.