Food jokes
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Memes
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.