Food jokes
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.