Food jokes

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Two baked beans traveled around Australia.

They both ended up in Cairns.

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.