Food jokes
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.