I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Food Jokes
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
