Food jokes

Two baked beans traveled around Australia.

They both ended up in Cairns.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.

After 12, it's lunch. 😂

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

Ever tried African food?

Neither have they.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.