Food jokes
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?
Panera Hair.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"