Food jokes
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.