Food jokes
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Memes
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.