Food jokes
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Memes
are you serious right neow
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.