Food jokes
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.