Food jokes
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.