Food jokes
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
Strength
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to ROLL in the DOUGH!
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.