Food jokes
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅