Food jokes
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
You look like a burger.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
A chicken is delicious.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.