Food jokes
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
That was a really crappy bun!
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.