"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
