Food jokes
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Which Roman emperor was a mouse?
Julius Cheeser.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!