Food jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.