Food jokes
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!