A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What is big and long and hard? A cucumber!
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
