I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Silly joke! Where’s my natcho? You have it :excuse me it’s nacho cheese 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
