What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
