Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
