Food jokes
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
What do gay horses eat?
Hayyyyy!
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.