What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What is big and long and hard? A cucumber!
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
