My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
