Food jokes
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What did the egg say to the tuna?
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
What's the difference between pepper and salt? One of them is black and the other one is white.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!