Food jokes
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️
I eat kids.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.