Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Food Jokes
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
Oh, he needs some milk!
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Spinach
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
What's bad? A nut allergy.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Suck all the bread!
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
