Food jokes
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?
"Hi!"
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."