Food jokes
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails