Food jokes
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."