Food jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.