COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Nothing, it was just plane.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?
A food fight and a water fight!
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.
I don't know why my friends look disgusted.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
