Food jokes
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
Why can’t an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because it was family size.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."