Flight jokes
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A Muslim enters a building... Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.