Flight jokes
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.