Fish jokes
Where do fish sleep? On a seabed!
Why can't blind people eat fish? Because it's sea food.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?
Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.