Fish jokes
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What do you call a fish in a bowl? Fish bowl art at art art.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
I ate Nemo.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
Penis.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.