Fish jokes
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.