Fish jokes
Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.